Loss of Hiking?

Growing up as a kid, my family loved to go hiking back in the Bob Marshal Wilderness in Montana for a week and rough it with everything you could haul on your back.  I loved it and did it in my early 20's with several other adventurous young adults and always hoped to do the same with my family.  Go back in 7 miles or more and live off the land.  I had the perfect spot picked out and was just waiting for the day.

In the summer of '07, I started to notice my right foot dragging more and tripping me when I went upstairs. It didn't happen all the time so I didn't bring it up with my neurologist or make a big issue of it.  But in the Fall of '07, it was mentioned he didn't think I was doing as well as he thought on current my MS medication. Maybe I should think of switching to Tysabri www.tysabri.com. I panicked.

I had heard about that drug.  It had been black boxed in 2005 for deaths linked to it.  I thought I had a good thing going with what I was on, why mess with it, right?  We had a good talk, my neurologist and I, and he listened to my fears and pointed out things that weren't going well with me.  I had been with him since 1998 and he knew me well.  He pointed out even Tylenol had issues when it first came out. "Think about it."

I did.  I researched and talked with Rick and both sides of the  family.  And we all prayed.  Late in December, Rick and I felt I should go on Tysabri. The answer was strong and clear. I had to go off all MS medications for a month to clear my system of everything before I could start.  Can I say scary?  I had been on stuff for 10 years. What a leap of faith!

MS is  an auto-immune disease meaning your body attacks itself.  You have no defense against anything since your body is too busy fighting what should be the good guys in your body.  That is what I used to tell others.  So I get every cold or illness others are so gracious to share with me.

While I was off my MS meds (Feb of 2008), I got the worst flu I have every had.  I thought I was going to die.  My children thought I was going to die.  My darling husband was off in Taiwan for work and  not aware just how bad the situation was. I called him about a week later and asked if he could please come home.  I could not move my legs, arms, anything. The children were scared, and my mother had flown (can cars fly?) three times in three days over 60 miles through Salt Lake City to be with me leaving her job in a lurch.

After pulling some major strings, he jumped on the next available flight and flew non-stop from Taipei to SLC only to find me, as I said--almost dead.  That was the worst spring of my life.

I started Tysabri in March of '08 and with each infusion (one a month) I felt life creep into my veins.  I lost use of my right leg for several months and was devastated.  Did I make a mistake switching over?  Did I wait too long to switch over?  Then for one blessed month I had total use of the whole leg and foot--yippee!!!  Only to have my hopes and dreams of ever walking normal crushed forever when I awoke one morning to the right foot dragging permanently.  Foot Drop!  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot_drop

I spent a while having a pity-party about all the things I couldn't do: walking, hiking, climbing the ladder to my beloved fruit tress, climbing stairs, wearing my Naot sandals. www.naot.com.   You may laugh but I loved those sandals!  I lived in those sandals 24/7. Oh the list went on and on (even today I still on occasion add to that list). What would this mean?

I went back to the neurologist and he listened to me rant and rave and then gave me some options.  "But, your insurance will only pay for this one." And wrote me out a prescription  to go to a place that make orthotics for an AFO--ankle foot orthosis.

Anger, humiliation, frustration.  You name it.  I had it as I stumbled into the office to get one for me.  The man was really nice and he tried to joke around with me.  He brought one out that looked like this:

*My first one had velco straps at the bottom also to help my ankle stay in place. AND didn't have the cute Willie Coyote on the back.  I could only find a picture of a child's one.  haha*

I made some smart-Alec comment  about me never wearing sandals or going barefoot again, and I would be better off with out my leg.  He looked at me and told me his wife would think I was lucky to have my leg.  He was helping her earlier this year try on 2 prosthetic legs since she had lost both hers in a car accident.  Good job, Brenda!  Open mouth, insert your stupid, dead foot!

I now have this one:

                                                       

I got this one after I fell with the other one and wasn't able to  rotate enough with my ankle to catch myself.  That caused me to fracture my left wrist three times, fracture my left elbow, and sprain my right wrist.  Of course, this was once again when Rick had left the country.  This time to Mexico.  :)

I have had my new AFO since April 2009 and have been walking great.  Most days I am cane-free and walking with the best of you.  When I wear long pants, no one knows.  I can hike again, although it does take a bit of adjusting to the tilt of the ground since I can't bend the foot in the AFO.  I love to go riding on our ATV since it helps with the extra rocky ground.

Fishing is a bit harder now since rocks are a bit of a challenge to balance on with this, but Rick and I, or Taylor and I, take the canoe out to the center of the lake and that solves the problem.  Besides, I think the best fishing it out there anyway.   When at a stream, I find a nice rock and plant my behind on it.  I don't trust myself meandering with the steam.  Must watch where I plant this foot.

Hunting, sad to say, is a thing of the past.  Only because of this crowded state.  One scrawny deer to 100 hunters.  Maybe if we were ever to move back to MT or to AK, I would use an ATV or a horse to help out the foot.

Well, enough rambling for this post.  Just to let anyone reading know, never let set-backs get you down.  Life can leave you black and blue; but pull yourself up, go for a walk (hike), look at Nature, and thank God you're here to live another day.