For several days, I've been thinking of my little family's circumstances, and what a trip it's been. I've learned a little about myself (good and bad) and realized I'm overall a happy person who's been very blessed. Life is good, but it's also what I make of it.
My husband was let go from his 'great' job almost two years ago and with it went many things we were used to--health insurance (which for me has been the hardest blow); a steady paycheck (you can imagine everything that pays for); and the little things we took for granted: vacations, movies, dining, etc. And like many others in this terrible economy, he has yet to find a "normal" job.
I'm not writing this to create or have a pity party but to let you know it's made us aware what really matters in times like these. To maybe make you, also, step back a little and think about your life, no matter your circumstances and see what is most meaningful.
I remembered telling a friend of mine here I was in my forties and starting life over. It's kind of like when I finished college. I had nothing then, too. She reminded me I still had my home, and when I left college, all I had was a beat up old car. I did see the humor in that.
My reminiscing sent me way back to to my wedding day. It was a disaster in all ways. A brief run down--luggage lost; rings missing, found ruined; ceremony time had to moved 3 hours since marriage license also went missing; cake top shattered; sisters arrested by over-zealous traffic cop and had to be bailed out with honeymoon cash; one of wedding speakers talked for 45 minutes causing one of the groomsmen to faint from exhaustion (it did help shut the man up, lol); and those were just a few of the highlights. But only one thing mattered. I was married to the man I loved.
So, I've been thinking of what IS it that matters? Certainly not the stuff we sold these past two years to make ends meet; not the items we lost at the wedding. Stuff is never important. It can always be replaced. Of course, it seems so at the time--the modern car with all the bells and whistles; a cool, new DVD coming out next week; the beautiful outfit in the mall window; or a must-have shoes everyone at school has. But there are other places to get those things cheaper, and, most of the time, we really don't need them. Think about it, renting a movie IS cheaper than buying it, and then the movie doesn't sit on your shelf for years gathering dust.
Things that matter to me:
1-A husband who does the laundry, so I don't have to climb the stairs (with MS and this brace on my leg, stairs are a killer).
2-A son who planted my garden, so I could have fresh tomatoes this year (and win blue ribbons with those tomatoes at the County Fair).
3-A daughter who comes home from college with a smile and helps me clean the hard places I can't reach.
4-A future son-in-law who takes care of my daughter who is away at college.
5-A home to live in.
6-MS drug companies who work with me to help me get the medications I need even without insurance to help with my MS.
And the list goes on. I have a little journal I keep a list of things I'm thankful for in, and I try to keep it current. Now, I'm adding things that matter to me because the line is very thin between what's important and thankfulness. I truly believe greed and selfishness lead to unhappiness. The more we dwell on what we don't have (our have-nots), we found ourselves in the 'pit of despair.' [Princess Bride]
So as you go about your day, look around you. See what you have and ask yourself--Does It Matter? If your are about to buy something or do something big or expensive, ask yourself--Is This Important to Me (or my family)? One never knows what you may find on this little journey you take.
