Bright Days Ahead

My brother has a Buddhist friend who shared this advice with him, " Do not mourn for the past, worry about the future, but live in the present."  My brother needed this advice at a time of turmoil in his life; he needed peace.

I recently read an article about the many times in our lives we may want to relive our glory days. Maybe days when we were healthier   I do that sometimes, wishing I could walk normal-especially when I see a neat pair of sandals or fancy high-heel shoes.  Or do you wish your kids were still at home; had a job; lived in a bigger house or different neighborhood; or  just go back a few years when you were younger.  "If only..." seems to be a game a lot of people play.

"You [should] not dwell on days now gone nor yearn vainly for yesterdays, however those yesterdays may have been.  The past is to be learned from but not lived in.  We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes.  And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best we have experienced, then we look ahead."  Jeffrey R. Holland

The article goes on to talk about being so dissatisfied with your present circumstances that you do nothing for your future. You stay yearning for the past.

What we're doing right now is what'll bring us peace and happiness. Not what we 'should-a, could-a, would-a' , as I always say.  

What are we learning?  What are we doing?  What is making us happy?  Are we going places?

It took me many years after my diagnosis with MS to pull myself out of the ashes and to move on.  As you read in my last post , it also took me a while to get over moving away from my home state.  Every time I go back, it is hard and it brings back a flood a memories, but that is all it is. They are 'glowing experiences' I can learn and grow from.  

With my MS challenges, I went to writing school, took several gardening and advanced gardening classes.  I volunteered for community and church groups.  I was a camp counselor.  I wrote children's books and now am compiling family histories for family members.  I give gardening presentations to the community.  I'm President of the Master Gardener's Association for our county. I've helped judged fairs and I've entered in fairs. I've taught preschool and helped out at my own kids' schools.  I've traveled internationally and helped my husband with schools there.  I've snorkeled and tried snowboarding (failed on that one, haha). I hike, camp, canoe, ATV, fish, garden, and all sorts of other activities other people would have said someone with MS shouldn't be able to do.  I tell them-"Oh YA! Watch me."

I'm living in the present and am loving life.

Each new challenge in our life can be a learning experience, if we let it. It can bring growth and happiness, peace and comfort, in time if we work at it.  It won't be easy.  It can be brutal.  But it will eventually be worth it.  But like it says, no sense in dwelling in the past and mourning for the things that can never be again.  No use worrying about things you have no control on in the future.  Work on the things you can control, which in NOW. Make your own happiness by living in the present so you will have brighter days ahead.

Decisions

I have been dwelling a great deal on how decisions play a role in our lives; how they have played a part in the lives of my children and my husband and how that has affected me and others.  It's like a pebble thrown into a pond.  It makes a small splash, and then, it ripples out slowly reaching all areas of a pond.

Over twenty years ago, we moved to the state of Utah from Montana.  At the time, I wasn't happy.  I'd lived in the state since I was about four.  To me, it was home.  I knew it backwards and forwards.  My husband and I met there; my daughter was born there; I had many happy memories there.  My husband likes to joke he dragged me from the state kicking and screaming, and my claw marks are still on I-15 to this very day.

St. Mary's Lake-Glacier Nat'l Park

My all-time favorite park to visit each year

One of the many falls in Glacier National Park

We came here for Rick to finish up his schooling.  Here, again, was another decision that was to change our lives.  At the time, he was taking physical therapy at the University of Montana.  It is a very competitive program.  He worked hard for four years and applied around to be accepted for the remaining years of the PT program.  It was something like 400 applicants at the time to most schools (U of M being one) and only 125 were being accepted.  He was not excepted that year.

So we had to decide.  Wait another year, continue with various schooling and try again; or move on.  We moved on to start almost all the way over with something he totally loved doing-computers.

That decision and coming to UT has been one that has blessed our lives immensely.

  Arches National Park- 

Yes I have been here when I could still walk well

Bryce's Canyon

 Spectacular! But also freezing cold in March

Zion's National Park-The Narrows

Watch for flash floods and do not go in the summer!

Best times to go with no crowds is Mar or Oct

Some of the great benefits: our son was born here in UT; Utah has great medical centers to help with my MS; the job opportunities have been great for Rick, enabling him to travel internationally and make great contacts he may not have been able to with a PT job; my kids were able to attend a Spanish Immersion program from the first grade on and are now fluent in Spanish.  This has helped them both get jobs and converse with our Latino neighbors where others have not. Jess was able to get college credits and graduate with a different degree because of her Spanish knowledge.

It's here that I've learned my horticulture knowledge and been given an opportunity to attend seminars with great guest speakers on the subject.  Back in MT, I did love gardening, but the season was short and that wasn't the avenue I was pursuing.  

I guess what I am trying to say with my rambling is no matter where you're at or what life throws at you, you can make something of it.  You can scrap the asphalt out of your fingernails and move on.  You just need to stop feeling sorry for yourself.  You need to see where those ripples spread and what can be done with them.

I am sure if we had never left MT, I would still have found something to do with my life. Rick would have finished up school doing something.  Whether it was something he really loved, I don't know.  But we were at a crossroads and needed to do something.  It's when you don't decide, your life goes no where.  You become stagnant.  And a lot of times, you wither up and die.

My husband chose not to do that.  I chose not to do that.  I'm living each day to the fullest and, am hoping with the pebbles I throw into my pond, the ripples I cause will not affect others in a negative way.