Friends

During this week, Life threw a few curve balls my way.  Living with MS, I expect all types of fast ones t0 come my way at any given time.  This week just happen to have a little of both MS and normal Life Game balls thrown into the mix.

In fact, everyone should expect curve balls at some point in their career.  For when those curve balls come and we hit for all we are worth (hopefully hitting some out of the ballpark), that is when we call the one or two good friend/s we have in our lives.  These friends give us a base to go to; a home plate to come safely into. Maybe, we just want a cheerleader.

I, for one, don't want unsolicited advice or someone to tell me "I told you so."  I just want someone to blow of some steam to; some to cry with; someone to help out; or someone to just listen.  Maybe that is why people tell me I am a great listener.  It is because I am hoping to be THAT friend to them.

I am sure we've all had someone come up to us and ask, "How are you?" or my favorite, "What can I do to help you?" and then, when you start to tell them, they stop listening or come up with all the reasons WHY they can't help you.  These are not true friends.  They are lip-service acquaintances. They want to give the appearance they care but don't really.  So when they ask the questions, they're duty is done.

A few year's ago when I was down for a relapse with MS, I had a person ask me if I needed help.  I thought it was a sincere offer.  I asked for a simple task that needed to be done. A week went by and then, this person told me, "My house needed it done too, so I worked on it instead. Hope you don't mind."  Really? Mine never got done.  Why the offer if there was no intention?

Are we guilty of doing that?  Do we offer lip-service?  Are we what my mother-in-law calls fair-weather friends?

I have gone out of my way to try NOT to do that.  If I am going to ask a person how they are doing, I want to know, and I stay to listen.  If I am going to help someone out, I make sure I am willing and able to do whatever it is they MAY ask of me.  You may never know, you could be someone's lifesaver just by simply stopping and taking 5 minutes to LISTEN or to help out.

The other day when one of those curve balls came, I was thinking of whom to call and help out. The list was few.  I didn't want another lip-service person with 1001 excuses of why now wouldn't work.  I needed a friend.  I said a silent pray that my #1 Friend wouldn't be busy and could help.  And he just happened to be free!.  The Lord was with me--He always is.



I am so glad I am married to my #1 Friend.

Our engagement photo 1990      

At our 25th year HS reunion 2011
 (yes, we graduated at same high school; no we weren't high school sweet hearts)

          

My second friend I call when my husband is busy and can't be around is my mom!

This was at an honor dinner at Weber University in Ogden, Utah, for my Mother-Virginia Stevens.
May 2005
(way young)

.A close third is my great daughter, Jess (now married to a great guy!)-

Hiking in Zion's National Park
Feb 2011

Zef and Jess Anderson
Draper, Utah
Dec 29, 2012

My sister, Bobbi Menlove-

Dec 29, 2012
Reception of Jess' wedding 

Bobbi and I enjoying camping and friendship.
Many Pines Camp Ground near Neihart, Montana ca. 1980

My friend since 7th grade-Cathy McGuire Kotzian

Cathy and I go way back.   Though life may have put miles
between us, we still keep in touch and we know we are there for each other!

This is Cath and I about 1985.  Bad pic but those were the days.
Charles M. Russell High School, Great Falls, MT.

This is me now :

Dec 29, 2012 Riverton, UT
Daughter's reception

I had many great friends who helped me out with this reception.  My mother and sister where a great help. They were with me almost every step of the way.  I couldn't have made it at all without the help of my #1 Friend at all-the love of my life who has been with me for twenty-three years now.  And surprise of surprises, my friend since I was three showed up to help me, too.  It was a three-hour long drive for her and her husband to get there, but they came and stayed until the bitter end. 

  

Teresa Lackner Chipman and I 

Dec 29, 2012

Teresa Lackner and I with my little brother, Travis Stevens

1980 Great Falls, MT

  Taken with an instant Polaroid

Got to love the quality-haha

Sometimes you meet great new friends, like I did at my daughter's wedding, and they help you out. Sometimes you have friends that will never let you down, like my long-time chum of 42-years.  Most times, you will have those that will just want to give you a passing glance.  It is those I hope we don't become. The world has too many of those.