RPM's and PJ'S

At a business retreat Rick and I went to, a yoga instructor told us she always did her RPM's in the morning.  My husband quipped up, "Rise, pray, and meditate?"  "No," She laughed.  "Rise, PEE, and meditate."

I decided to add that to my morning routine but kept it Pray.  RPM'S can be an acronym for whatever you want it to be--hers, mine yours.  It was hard to do when I had kids at home.  I felt like I hit the floor with the RPM's going from 0 to 60 in 2 secs flat.  Now, I am more like an old jalopy, and I kind of like the feeling.

I rise after a decent night's rest (usually) and always start my day with prayer.  I need to ask God to help me throughout my day.  Some may scoff at the idea, and that's okay. It's their choice.  But it's my choice to start my day this way.  It helps me get going.  My meditation is usually reading a good book-scriptures, news, or something I want to read. Something that fills my soul with happiness.  I must say, not all news does this, but I like to keep up with what's going on in the world.  I limit this to once or twice a week.  This is done during breakfast and no more than 30-minutes.  I have been known to spend too much time involved in a good book.  :)

Now what are PJ'S?  That's the bedtime routine of course-Prayer, Journal, and Scriptures. These are done in any order, and if I have already done scriptures earlier in the day, I sometimes read a church magazine, do a crossword puzzle or something else to wind down.

I've always been one to write in a journal.  I have them going way back to when I was eight.  I don't do the whole routine every night.  It's always the P, but I usually save the J for once or twice a week.  I don't have enough worth writing about everyday.  I try to do the M and S everyday as I find taking time for me is very crucial.

Also, with journaling, I find it funny to read about me to my kids.  They realize I was a 'real' kid and teen and had issues just like they faced, even in the 'old' days.  It's good to read the stuff I'd forgotten I'd done with or to my siblings and about relatives who have passed away.  I get to read about when I first met Rick back when we were fifteen and laugh about the fun times we had.  He wonders why I wrote about all the crazy stuff.  I am glad I did, because I would have never remembered it.

I guess this blog is also a kind of journal for me, too.  It helps me unload some things I might not say otherwise.  It is therapeutic just like my RPM's and PJ'S are.

Friends

During this week, Life threw a few curve balls my way.  Living with MS, I expect all types of fast ones t0 come my way at any given time.  This week just happen to have a little of both MS and normal Life Game balls thrown into the mix.

In fact, everyone should expect curve balls at some point in their career.  For when those curve balls come and we hit for all we are worth (hopefully hitting some out of the ballpark), that is when we call the one or two good friend/s we have in our lives.  These friends give us a base to go to; a home plate to come safely into. Maybe, we just want a cheerleader.

I, for one, don't want unsolicited advice or someone to tell me "I told you so."  I just want someone to blow of some steam to; some to cry with; someone to help out; or someone to just listen.  Maybe that is why people tell me I am a great listener.  It is because I am hoping to be THAT friend to them.

I am sure we've all had someone come up to us and ask, "How are you?" or my favorite, "What can I do to help you?" and then, when you start to tell them, they stop listening or come up with all the reasons WHY they can't help you.  These are not true friends.  They are lip-service acquaintances. They want to give the appearance they care but don't really.  So when they ask the questions, they're duty is done.

A few year's ago when I was down for a relapse with MS, I had a person ask me if I needed help.  I thought it was a sincere offer.  I asked for a simple task that needed to be done. A week went by and then, this person told me, "My house needed it done too, so I worked on it instead. Hope you don't mind."  Really? Mine never got done.  Why the offer if there was no intention?

Are we guilty of doing that?  Do we offer lip-service?  Are we what my mother-in-law calls fair-weather friends?

I have gone out of my way to try NOT to do that.  If I am going to ask a person how they are doing, I want to know, and I stay to listen.  If I am going to help someone out, I make sure I am willing and able to do whatever it is they MAY ask of me.  You may never know, you could be someone's lifesaver just by simply stopping and taking 5 minutes to LISTEN or to help out.

The other day when one of those curve balls came, I was thinking of whom to call and help out. The list was few.  I didn't want another lip-service person with 1001 excuses of why now wouldn't work.  I needed a friend.  I said a silent pray that my #1 Friend wouldn't be busy and could help.  And he just happened to be free!.  The Lord was with me--He always is.



I am so glad I am married to my #1 Friend.

Our engagement photo 1990      

At our 25th year HS reunion 2011
 (yes, we graduated at same high school; no we weren't high school sweet hearts)

          

My second friend I call when my husband is busy and can't be around is my mom!

This was at an honor dinner at Weber University in Ogden, Utah, for my Mother-Virginia Stevens.
May 2005
(way young)

.A close third is my great daughter, Jess (now married to a great guy!)-

Hiking in Zion's National Park
Feb 2011

Zef and Jess Anderson
Draper, Utah
Dec 29, 2012

My sister, Bobbi Menlove-

Dec 29, 2012
Reception of Jess' wedding 

Bobbi and I enjoying camping and friendship.
Many Pines Camp Ground near Neihart, Montana ca. 1980

My friend since 7th grade-Cathy McGuire Kotzian

Cathy and I go way back.   Though life may have put miles
between us, we still keep in touch and we know we are there for each other!

This is Cath and I about 1985.  Bad pic but those were the days.
Charles M. Russell High School, Great Falls, MT.

This is me now :

Dec 29, 2012 Riverton, UT
Daughter's reception

I had many great friends who helped me out with this reception.  My mother and sister where a great help. They were with me almost every step of the way.  I couldn't have made it at all without the help of my #1 Friend at all-the love of my life who has been with me for twenty-three years now.  And surprise of surprises, my friend since I was three showed up to help me, too.  It was a three-hour long drive for her and her husband to get there, but they came and stayed until the bitter end. 

  

Teresa Lackner Chipman and I 

Dec 29, 2012

Teresa Lackner and I with my little brother, Travis Stevens

1980 Great Falls, MT

  Taken with an instant Polaroid

Got to love the quality-haha

Sometimes you meet great new friends, like I did at my daughter's wedding, and they help you out. Sometimes you have friends that will never let you down, like my long-time chum of 42-years.  Most times, you will have those that will just want to give you a passing glance.  It is those I hope we don't become. The world has too many of those.

Bounteous Blessings

This is just a writing to finally show you my lovely garden beds built by my Darling Hubby and Super Son.  I have been talking about this early in my previous posts and promised  to show pictures.

While I was out taking pictures, I realized I needed to count my blessings of all the things I can and have done out in my yard.  With the help of my family and the neighbor boy, I have done all you see below.  Just remember, we live in second driest state in the Union (Nevada is the first).  It is a battle to keep our grass green and the weeds down.  haha

One of the three boxes built this year.  We only has enough money to fill two and half

with enough soil.  This one has Early Goliath Tomatoes, Pik Rite Tomatoes,

Nacho Macho Peppers, and California Wonder Bells.

I won 5 Blue Ribbons in the County Fair with all these varieties last year.

The start of something delicious!  Can't wait.

A far off few of my garden from the corner of my yard.

I have 5 varieties of grapes growing around my yard.  This one is a pink champagne-type grape

called Candice.

The Candice grape growing in this section.  I have Concord, Himrod,  Glenora, and an unknown variety.

My beautiful Hollyhocks that bring bees and butterflies.

My raspberry patch!  I love, love this.  When I would send the kids out to pick

these, I would never get what I was expecting.  They would always

pick one, eat two.

The season is just beginning. 

I have have six fruit trees in my back yard, also.  The one above is an apple.

The one below is an apricot.  I also have two peach trees and two cherry trees.

We lost a peach tree this year.

With all this surrounding me, I couldn't help but think of all the blessings I have.  I can garden to my heart's content.  I get to have fresh fruit and vegetables and nothing beats a red, ripe tomato.  So the little trip around my back yard, through the morning heat of 90*F, helped me realize I do somethings after all, and I am blessed by my Heavenly Father in more ways than one.

Stress

When I was diagnosed with MS, I was told to eliminate as much stress from my life as possible.  I stared at the doctor wanting to ask him if he'd ever raised toddlers.  I'm still being cautioned to keep stress down.  

This is being told to a person who is the classic Type A personality.  Here are some of my traits:

• I am painfully aware of the time and how little of it I have.  It SO bugs me to sleep in late or to take a nap--both of which I am finding I am having to do more often as time goes on.
• I get frustrated while waiting in line--a store, a movie, a stoplight.  My kids are used to me muttering under my breath at rude drivers or 'slow' people. It used to amuse the kids in my car pool.
• Just the other day, my husband was waiting patiently (me not-so-much) in a long line cars coming out of a big convention.  We were following the rules (another thing I do, and it bugs me when people don't!).  Some dork comes screaming through the parking lot going down the wrong lane of traffic; zipped around everyone who was nicely letting everyone in; and zoomed past hundreds of cars.  Out he went onto the main road by going down the wrong side of the road.  I gave him a piece of my mind!  Unfortunately, Rick was the only one to hear it.

• As you can see most of these things cause  irritation and exasperation.  Other people call it rudeness.  Rick sometimes says when things don't go according to 'my schedule,'  I get curt.  And I have to admit, there are times that when heat is involved (heat is a factor for us MS people) and things get out of hand, my temper has a tendency to have a short fuse.

Over the many years of this disease, I've taken strides to become less of  an "A" and more of a 'Go-With-The-Flow.'  I must say this hasn't been easy.  Rush hour traffic is a bear.  I avoid Christmas shopping and try to get it done by Thanksgiving or do the on-line thing.  I stay out of the July and August summer scorching days and hide in air conditioning bliss.  

But, when there are things that are thrown on us or we volunteer for, what are we to do?

This year I was elected to be the President of the Master Gardener's Association of Utah County, Utah.  I was told it wouldn't be a big deal, no stress really.  Hahahahaha.  Little did anyone know that one county agent would retire; one would pass away; the previous president hadn't done much since the other 2 agents did it all for her so she didn't know what to pass on to me; I had seven board members that needed to be filled; and the list went on.

I actually thought I would start my work in my new job in January, but it started in November with the Winter Social and have been rolling ever since.  Last night was the biggest stressor every.  We had our big Summer Social.  Thanks to my committee and my son and hubby, it went down great. Today, I crashed.  Slept until 9:30 am and have done little to nothing since.  To me this is all but a wasted day.

But like I asked earlier, what are we to do?  Here are some things I have learned (and am still learning and trying to put into practice):

• Most important--JUST SAY NO!  There are so many hours in a day.  There is only so much energy you have.  I have learned most people understand when you tell them no.  If people tell me I understand.  In fact, when I hear them hesitate or hem and haw, I just tell them to tell me no.  I would rather have a 'no' than a failed project or a no-show.
• Take a nap.  Go to bed on time.  Rise early.  Ben Franklin had it right when he said "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise."
• Breathe.  When I feel my blood start to boil or my anger rise, stop and breathe.  Deep, cleansing breaths.  It is amazing what a little deep breathing does.
• Yoga and healthcare providers
• Take time for for YOU.  Whether I worked full-time or was a stay-at-home mom, I scheduled a time that was for me.  It may not have been more than 30 minutes, but I did it at least once a week. I told my kids Mommy was having time-out.
• Rick's excuse was by the time he hauled out what he liked to do, his 30 minutes was almost up and then it was time to put it away.  If that is your excuse (maybe you have a medium that will dry up and needs to be put away), schedule more time.  The important thing is--Schedule.  It is for you.  It is what you love.  

Stress is a bad thing for everyone.  It shortens life.  It causes high-blood pressure, heart-attacks, and for me, leads to allergic reactions. There are times in our lives when it can't be avoided , but we can learn things to help us cope with it.

P.S.  I will be posting pictures of my garden boxes soon.  It is a way I cope with stress.  *Although the weeds in the background that grow in snow, heat, drought, and with every weed killer sprayed on them are adding to my stress.  haha

Where There's a Will....

Another month has come and gone and here I am just sitting to write another post. Work has started up for me for the season. With it, calls from people with questions about their yards or gardens and trying to beat Mother Nature at her own game.  I love my job and I love working with people.

But on the days I work, I drag myself home knowing MS is taking its toll on me.  After seventeen years of dealing with this disease and with the naturally progression of age, I'm not the young whipper-snapper I used to be.  I can't just put in a whole day of work anymore, and then, party the night away,whether it is an actual party or work-out-in-the-yard party.

I pass along advice to people on what they need to make their lawn's green or their pea harvest come on earlier in our Utah heat.  I help them battle insects and weeds in their yards, yet when I come home, I look out in my thorny patch of a yard and hope no one knows where I live.

But this year, things will be different.  My Darling Husband and Super Son have teamed up with my brains to help my lack of energy.  This year, we are all in The Battle of the Wills--Mother Nature's and Ours.

For my birthday and for Mother's Day, I received two raised garden beds the height of 3 feet.  Yah, for me!!  I can now get out to my beloved garden and work in the soil and play to my heart's content.  I can comfortable lean or sit on the edge of the beds, plant, weed, pick, or do what needs to be done without fear of getting down and never getting back up.  There will be more beds to follow.

For anyone with any type of illness, a hobby of some kind is a must.  It is therapeutic. You need to find a release.  I've had those who give me all kinds of excuses why they can't find and outlet for their anger or depression--no time, no money, no energy.  Are these the real reasons?  Or is it just because they don't WANT too?

There have been times when I've done nothing.  I've sat for days staring at the TV or computer screen just clicking on a button doing mindless nothing.  And that's what it does to me--nothing.  It make me feel like nothing.  I literally have to pull myself away and find the WILL to live again.

This is what my hobbies to for me--make me live.  I love to GARDEN.  I makes me feel alive. So with the help of some friends and my great family, we find the will to make it happen for me to keep gardening when MS continues to creep in and limit my abilities. I love to be in the OUTDOORS.  My husband and I have found the ways and the will to make the outdoors available to me.  I love SCRAPBOOKING, PHOTOGRAPHY, FAMILY HISTORY, and the list goes on.  I don't let my illness stop me.  I find the way.  I find the will.

Because people, when there is no will, that is when we start to do nothing.  And soon that nothing will take over and it will rob us of who we are.  So, where there's a will, there IS a way!

15 Minutes at a Time

This little post is mainly for me.  I was sitting at the kitchen table this morning recovering from a little stint of spring cleaning out on my patio and having a brief cry.  I was feeling overwhelmed with all there is to do out in my yard and the lack of help now that I am all but an empty nester. Suddenly a thought came to me from my favorite cleaning website www.flylady.net- 'You can do ANYTHING for 15 minutes.'  

I have been following her for over seven years and keeping my house on a schedule with her routine. But it's her 15-minute idea that keeps me going. With my MS progressing over the past seventeen years, I've lost a bit of my energy and  some function in my right leg.  It makes it hard for me to do things I used to whip through, such as vacuuming the whole house, laundry all in one day, or hours out in the yard on a beautiful sunny day. I love to spend hours in my garden but now the 15-minute rule really comes in handy. Although those weeds have a pull that sometimes keep me going longer, and I regret it. I have to literally crawl back to the house.

Today was a hard one.  Spring is here.  I want to get out there.  My coveted raised beds aren't built yet, so I am crawling around on the ground still, wasting more energy. I can't NOT play in the soil.  It is a desire that is strong.  I think I would curl up and die if I couldn't do this, so I grab my walker (just so I can hobble back) and dash out there to do my 15-minutes.  IF I stick to the 15 minutes I won't need the walker too much to get back, maybe to keep from tripping over a worm hill or something.  But, if I stretch it to 30-minutes or more, I may be hanging on to that walker for dear life and taking dragging, baby steps to the house which seems miles away. I will flop on the back porch steps, panting, and wait a good 5 to 10 minutes before I can haul myself into the cool shade of my house to rest before the next burst of energy comes, and I start on another 15-minute project.

Sometimes, the next project doesn't start until the next day.  But if I stick to my 15-minutes, I can do three or four projects in a day.  It's amazing how that works.  Over-do one project and I could be done for, especially if it's in the sun.  But on days like today, when I get really discouraged, I have to stop and think, what have I accomplished.

While I was sitting at the table having my pity party,  I suddenly thought of why I was so tired and what I had accomplished already today.  I had showered, dressed, done my hair, wiped down the bathroom, picked up the laundry, played with the dog, got the kitchen partially re-cleaned up, and had just cleaned up the patio, AND it was only 11 AM.  Amazing for me considering I had only been up for 2 hours (I had slept in--my sweet hubby let me).

So all in all, I'm able to keep going 15 minutes at a time with rests in between.  Everyone and Anyone can do anything they need to do with moderation.  So if you are dealing with any type of issue and think you can't possibly get it done, just remember YOU CAN DO IT--15 minutes at a time!

Busyness vs Business

I have been berating myself for not keeping this up like I'd planned I would.  I'm sure I've lost a few followers in the process, but that's the way life goes.  As I was thinking of why I haven't been keeping this up, I've been thinking of what it is that's keeping me from sitting down and writing.

Some of it has been great ideas that have flitted in and out of my brain never to be captured again.  Some has been illness, mine and others. Then, there is my seasonal job starting and the list goes on.

We all have things that get in the way--important or fun. That kind of goes back to my postings on Just Say No and Things that Matter.  We have to decide what to do with those.

But this post has to do with running around like a chicken with our head cut off and getting nothing done--Busyness--or actually sitting down and finishing that big project of cleaning out the messy pantry or getting the gardening power point presentation done for next week's class--Business.

The dictionary defines busyness as 'lively but meaningless activity.'  How many times during our lives are we doing this?  Just now, I got a phone call and spent 30 minutes on it. I was talking about nothing in particular, settle nothing important, had a lot of laughs, but didn't get anywhere on this blog.  Busyness.

Whereas, Business, is defined as an undertaking, a task, or a job you need to do--I am really trying to get this blog written, proof-read, and posted.

I have witnessed many friends fill their lives (and their kids' lives) with busyness--running from activity to activity and never stopping to see if these items are really meaningful in anyone's life.  My husband and I are guilty of the same thing and we have to keep telling ourselves: 'stay focused' ; 'what is our end-goal.'

A new book I am reading, Eat That Frog, is helping me stay focused on 'our end-goal.'  It is helping me avoid Busyness. There are two lines in the book that help me with decide if I am being 'busy' or working on 'busi' "There will never be enough time to do everything you have to do." and  "What is the most valuable use of my time right now?"  I use both these quotes with personal, spiritual, and work aspect parts of my life.

I try to NOT do the things that are of no to little value.  Is cleaning out the dust in the upper cupboards behind my recipe books really going to matter to anyone?  All that's going to matter to me is the draining of my energy, wasting time needed for a more important projects, and possibly a little bit of satisfaction when my tall sister-in-law sees it IF she should ever come to visit me and IF she should want a cookbook from that cupboard. Busyness

Instead, sweep the kitchen floor.  Same amount of time and it's visible to everyone. Do you see the difference?

Since reading that chapter, I have tried to implement those two sentences in everything I do.  It is amazing what little things I have eliminated from my life.  I still have a ways to go, but I'm starting to find some much needed time in my clock and scale down some busyness in my days.