Whirlwind

There are times in your live when you may feel you have been sucked up in a whirlwind and are being thrown around from side-to-side with no way out.  You can't seem to control your days and there seems to be no end to the chaos. Every night you crawl into bed, exhausted, dreading the dawn.  Your stress level is climbing and know, that if it doesn't stop soon, you are going to blow.

I've often thought of the character Tipo from the Disney movie "The Emperor's New Groove."  She wakes up from a nightmare and says, 'I had a dream that Dad was tied to a log and careening out of control down a raging river of death.'


I often feel I am careening out of control on a raging river of life--or in a whirlwind that sucks me up and spits me out tattered and torn somewhere down the river of life where I really didn't want to be.  As I've gotten older, and hopefully wiser, I've noticed some of the chaos in this whirlwind is my own doing.  And even though I don't mean to do it, it happens.  Let me explain.


I am caught up in a whirlwind at this moment and it's starting to pick up momentum.  I've noticed it gaining speed for sometime now and have been trying to stop it before it flings me far and does some serious damage.  In my case, an MS relapse that could set me back several weeks or months.  


It started back in November when I took a spill and gave myself a concussion.  Instead of taking it easy and recovery fully (heck, it was the holidays.  Who had time to recover?), I jumped back into life after about ten days and started with my agenda.


I went Christmas shopping.  I kept up with my photo restoration, which is fine since I was sitting down for this and wasn't over-exerting myself.  I started to stay up later to be with my husband and son.  Then, my daughter came home from college so I started to do more with her and stay up even later.  I love to play 'Words with Friends' since it helps keep the cognitive part of my brain going.  I had more friends adding me to their list so I was playing more. December turns into January, and the stress is building.


February came. I broke a tooth, and we have no dental insurance.  Rick's new job with the new insurance really pays for nothing. So the chaos is mounting.  I found out when I took my spill in November, I tore some ligaments in my knee.  Add more doctors appointments to the day. The ride down the river is starting to move rapidly.  This ride is filled with photo restoration, housework, blogging, genealogy, staying up late (I never did get to bed early after the holiday season), and 'Words with Friends.'  We take a trip to see my daughter at college and celebrate her 20th birthday.  I'm really feeling the whirlwind building speed now.

March comes in with spring-like weather.  I'm now getting involved with my garden stuff.  I'm offered to do Water Conservation at the county extension.  I've been wanting to do this for years!  Along with this, I do my normal helping with garden volunteering, pruning, & classes; added to all the above stuff from February.  


In the days before I had MS, the whirlwind would have been a small dirt devil at this point and I could have squashed it with taking a nap or two.  But with MS, I can't do this.  I know that something must give.  BUT, do I do give something up?  Noooooo.....


I have added Pinterest to this.  I like to see what others are interested in and want to add my interests.   Both my children's graduations are coming up in May--one from high school, one from college.  I'm also trying to get my yard cleaned up for spring (with help of course) and work on a plan for what to plant and grow for this year.  I have to keep in mind that whatever grows, I have to reap and can in the fall. I need to beware there, too.  I always get carried away with that and create a great massive whirlwind with harvest season.


So, how did I bring this on myself?  How did I go 'careening over this raging river of death?'  


Simple!  I did not say NO.   I did not chose the important stuff.  The most crucial part in this picture is ME.


Yes, it is time to be selfish here.  My health is the most critical thing here.  I need to eliminate several things to stop this whirlwind before it gets any worse. I know what I need to do in my life and plan on doing it.  In fact, I have already started the process.


Now, for you.  What are the things in your life that are causing dirt devils to becomes whirlwinds?  Are you on a raging river right now that is careening out of control?  What is being affected in your life?  


I challenge you to make a list of all the things you have done in the last three months (like I did) and see what things are really necessary for your well-being.  What things are getting in the way of the end-goal?  And take steps to eliminate them before you are being swept away and being slammed into chaos.  

MS Awareness Week March 11-18

Many of you are aware I suffer from Multiple Sclerosis. It's something I share openly with all those that want to know.  I'm not afraid to tell my story: what symptoms I started with; how long it took them to diagnose me; what I've done to deal with it; and what things I'm doing now to help with it.

I wasn't always this way.  As mentioned in earlier postings, I struggled coming to terms with this. Anyone who has lost something or someone does.  You go through stages of shock and denial that there is no way this can be you.  It must be someone else's results.  Then, comes the guilt of wondering if you did something to deserve this; or maybe pain (at times almost physical) breaking your heart and wondering how your life is going to be from now on.

Anger and negotiating come next.  I remembering making deals with God about my kids.  Then, my deals would turn into angry rants at Him for making me have to suffer this terrible disease that doctors didn't know anything about or have any cure for.  "How am I suppose to raise a family being STUCK in a wheelchair?!  You might as well take me now!"  Then, remorse and shame would take me over, and I would plead for forgiveness, only to have the anger start all over again the next day.

Depression soon follows.  Thanks to a caring husband and good doctors, I spent three and half years in therapy for this.  I was able to cope with the feelings that come from losing much that comes with a chronic illness.  And if you can cope, comes reflection.  It's during this time I came to realize and accept my disease.  I learned to know I had support from friends and family.  I read and studied everything there was to know about MS.   I started to gain knowledge.


With knowledge comes power and your life turns for the better.  You feel better, and you can do more.  You can accept and have hope that all is not as bad as you thought things were going to be when you first got your diagnosis umpteen days ago.

For me, it was about five years before I was able to speak openly to people about this disease.  But now, I want to share and let people know.  And I am letting you know.

• Did you know that 2.1 million people worldwide have MS?
• Women are 2-3 times more likely to have it than men.
• Children can also have MS.  There are 10,000 documented cases
• MS is not contagious
• The majority of people with MS do not become severely disabled

If you want to find out more, or find a local chapter in your area, check out this website for more information. http://nationalmssociety.org/index.aspx

Last year, my daughter and her college friends joined the MS Walk in her college town and helped raise money for research.  Rick and I went and joined in. Jess learned a lot she didn't know about MS and thinks she will do it again this year.  Thanks to my daughter for setting an example to her friends!

Everyone, everywhere, can do something to help spread the word about this devastating disease--even if it is just passing the word on to help donate to an MS Walk in your area come Spring or Fall.

Friendly Advice?

I am sure we have all received advice from those that mean well--an older person with years of experience trying to share a bit with you; or a young, single know-it-all giving you fresh-out-of-college textbook knowledge on how to raise your passel of kids.  Do you glare at them and tell them where to shove it (I have wanted to at times)?  Or smile sweetly, nod and think to yourself about the impertinent co-ed "Just you, wait, honey, your day is coming!"?

With the decision to make my MS more known to others, I have been the 'brunt' of many unsolicited pieces of 'friendly advice.'  Everyone knows of somone's great-aunt's niece who has MS.  At first, I was really annoyed (I am toning this word down, haha) with this bit of comparison.  I really didn't care.  But over the years, I have mellowed out.

I am, now, willing to listen to people offer their advice. Some of it maybe beneficial.  If it sounds good, and I don't get in warning sounds in my head, I will research on my own.  I have found a lot helpful things in this life for my health and my well-being (mentally, spiritually, and physically) through research.   If red flags go up, I thank them for their 'friendly advice' and go my way.  If they are trying to sell me something or get me to join something, I am honest with them.  I tell them I am researching it and will get back with them.  And I do--good or bad.  If they can't take it, too bad for them.  I tell them, I am on many medications that will not mix with many of their 'remedies.'  That shuts many of them up.

There is only one time this didn't work.  This person was relentless.  She wouldn't listen to anything I had to say--even NO.  For over six months, she insisted on finding and giving me advice for helping me with MS and it culminated in me finally blocking her number.

Now this is a case of BAD advice, but there is GOOD advice, too.  And we have the great job to try and not get so upset with all the friendly advice out there we forget to notice when the good stuff is given.

Have we had several times in our lives when small moments stand out when a friend said something to us that at the time we took as criticism but was meant to help us become a better person?

There is one when I was about nineteen.  A family friend pulled me aside and told me I needed to accept compliments with a 'thank you' instead of with a 'Yah, sure' and maybe, people would be more likely to compliment me. The reply that jumped to my lips was----You guessed it 'Yah, sure.'

But since that day, I have been very self-conscience about it, and I now accept compliments graciously.

Another example of friendly advice for me helped me swallow my pride.  Yes, one of the 7 Deadly Sins.


In 2008, I developed foot drop.  It is where you are unable to lift the front of your foot so you are constantly dragging your toes and tripping over them.  I was told I would have to wear an AFO.
I really didn't want to do this.  As I said in an early writing (see Loss of Hiking), I was fighting this one tooth and nail.  So, I continued to wear my big clunky sandals and to trip over my toes, scrapping them quite often. (Must say, my pride took a beating during the few months before I got my AFO).

During the summer months, I work at the Country Extension office in the Gardening Department.  I help with the phones and diagnosing plant and insect problems.  It was while I was there I got my advice.  A good friend there asked what was wrong so I told her all about my problem and fears.  She  told me she had had the same problem about three years ago, but her foot drop was due to surgery.  She wore her AFO for 9 months.  It was her 'lifesaver' and couldn't live without it.   And although hers was due to a bit of nerve damage and it went away, she would wear it all over again if she had too.  Then, she looked me straight in the eye and told me I would be doing myself a favor by getting one.  'No one will know you have it. And you will be able to walk.'

I went in the next day and was fitted for my AFO.

Life is full of those who give us advice.  It is how we take it and how we use it that matters.  And while there are times some of that 'friendly advice' isn't so 'friendly,' there are REAL friends out there who are with us to help sift through the pieces and find what's worth keeping.

Memories

Read a story that was forwarded in a email that touched me deeply.  I almost deleted it like I do with a lot of them.  Many of them carry viruses I don't want on my computer and others, I save having good intentions to read, but they pile up adding clutter to my life I really don't need. I am not sure who wrote this story, but it hit home at a time when I was in great need.

This month has been one of great stress.  Life is like that sometimes.  Ups and downs like a roller coaster.  But we are in it for the ride.  But while we are in it, we must remember the many memories.  Here are some of mine. What are yours? 

Every Thanksgiving we would go with my sister's kids up to the hills in Montana for a picnic and get  our famous Montana Christmas tree.  This is 1997. My son is wearing his dalmatian costume from Halloween.  He refused to be parted from it.  I believe it rotted off his body.  hahaha

This is at Lake Alva, Montana.  Most summers we would go camping with my parents and the cousins.
Roasting (smoking) marshmallows with Grandpa.
Those were the days.  1998.

The summer of 1999,  my parents took us rafting down the Missouri River  up   from
what is now known as Tower Rock State Park, Montana.  We had super, hot sun and torrential
rains.  But my kids were troupers.  At one point, we stopped  for snacks at an island
that was covered is goose poo.  My daughter dubbed it "Goose Poop" Island.

In Oct 2001,  we all headed to Disneyland.  We met my husband's sister there (by accident).
  She was a great friend of my sister so all the cousins had a blast.  Since it was after 9-11 crowds were
at a minimum and we had the rule of the park.  As you can see, it was my heavier days, but I couldn't
resist standing in with my favorite of all Disney animals.

In January 2006, Rick's work sent him to Guadalajara, Mexico and we had the opportunity
to take both kids.  Since they had been taking Spanish Immersion in
school, we thought what a great chance for them to go.  We spent a week there
with them learning the cultural, practicing the language, and literally,
being immersed in the country.

Early of 2007, Rick';s work sent him to back to Guadalajara, Mexico.   I got to go with  him
this time and we snuck away to Manzanillo on the coast  for a day.  What fun!

We love to camp and hike and my son is a pyromaniac.  At Thanksgiving of 2007, we went
to Zions National Park camping.  My husband happened to catch this photo
of Taylor catching his hair on fire.  Way to go, Son!  Love it.

I think our greatest (and cheapest) vacation was in October 2007.
Thanks to all the perks of Rick's work and his many international travels,
the family went to Oahu, Hawaii, for a week.  The kids still rave about it
and hope to go back.  One wants to live there (good luck).  There was no fighting and
for me, I had a moment of complete and utter joy.  Those moments that happen rarely.

Our kids chose going to Glacier Nation Park in 2008 rather than
Disneyland.  I was kind of bummed since I love Disneyland, but
we went whitewater rafting, hiking, and saw the many sites.
It has created a great memory for me.

I found the email that brought on good memories and made me forget life's challenges if but for a moment.  Maybe it will hep you, too.

http://moralsandethics.wordpress.com/2008/09/01/need-washing-2/

Seasons

I've been spending a lot of time researching my ancestors and loving it.  It gets quite time consuming, and I made a comment about it to a friend of mine last week.  She said she loved it too, but her 'season' now is for the girls at church, not for genealogy.

I got to thinking about that--seasons.  We have many seasons in our life.

• Our childhood: we are pretty much carefree racing around on bikes or scooters.  Looking forward to the lazy days of summer.  The biggest challenge is getting not to get cooties from HIM or HER or to be picked last for any gym class games. 
• The dreaded days of junior high and high school: We are hitting puberty, have the lovely zits, and wish we could drop off the planet.  There are the creatures of the opposite who don't have cooties after all.  And our biggest disasters are not going to prom, not passing the driver's test, and TO BE called on it class.

The seasons change as we get older--college, marriage, children, those children turn into teenagers, grandchildren, you get my drift.  And with each season, we are able to do more or less of the things we like to do. We are also adding to the list by learning and growing.

My list of "TO-DO's" has been growing steady since I was twelve or thirteen.  By now, if I were to write it down, it would be several sheets long.  There is no way I can do all of the things I love to do. I have come to terms with that.  I think it was the lack of money that first made me come to grips with this startling revelation. Then, it was the different 'seasons' in my life that got in the way--college and my studies; marriage and working; motherhood and working; just motherhood; and the list goes on.

Now, add an chronic illness into that.  It is really making me fight against, what I call, 'the unfairness of it all.'   I've lived through my seasons so now I am ready to PARTY!!!!  Wrong.  This, too, is another season in my life.

This past Saturday, my husband and I were out in our yard having a pruning demonstration for a few people in our church.  These people were so excited at 'our' knowledge of everything.  My husband nicely smiled, "Oh no.  It is all, Brenda.  She taught me.  I just do all the grunt work."  Then the people turned to me and started asking a ton more questions about anything gardening they could think of.

As I sadly looked at all that needed to be done in my yard, I realized I didn't have the strength or energy to keep up with it, but I did have the knowledge I could share with others.  My season for working outside is almost done, but my season for sharing what I know is still in full bloom.  And that is what I do.  I have an appointment to go to some friends' homes and help in planning their vegetable and flower gardens--what to plant, when to plant, where to plant.  I have done this with others for several years now.  I also work at the county extension office helping to diagnosis diseased plants and help others with their gardening problems.

My season for genealogy is starting to bloom.  If you had asked me when my kids were young, I would have laughed and said, 'Who has time?"  I love to sew for Humanitarian Aid.  When both my kids were in school, my season was to be the Room Mother.  Now I get to help out with children around the world.

So just because you aren't doing something you love to do now (whether it is because of a job, illness, church work, or taking care of someone else) know it is because it is your 'season' to do THIS now.  Find something you can do while you are in this season.  And look forward to what you are going to be able to do in the next season of your life.  You never know, you may regret the things you left in past seasons, but you also may be learning things to help you in future seasons.

Communication

Last week, my husband and I attend a seminar on communication.  At first, I thought, "Why do I need to go to this?  I know how to talk to people.  Besides, this is mainly for business people and I am just a mom."  But as the class went on, I found out this was a great thing for me!

While the bulk of the seminar was for business people, the presenters, workbook, manual, and other materials were suitable for everyone.  I started thinking about how I communicate with those around me--spouse, children, associates, doctors, friends, and family.  I saw how it was relevant to me in everyday life.

One of the stories told was about how a woman went in for surgery.  Everything went fine and she came through with flying colors--except...her surgery was for a tonsillectomy and she ended up having her right foot amputated.  Why did this happen?  It was because all the red warning signs that happened before the surgery to the medical staff were not brought up. They were afraid to communicate their concerns with the well-known surgeon who was working on her.  They felt he knew what he was doing and were afraid to question authority, step on toes, hurt someone's feelings, whatever. 

I had a similar situation years ago when I was receiving some Solu-Medrol at a hospital for a flair-up of my MS.  It is given through IV and the medicine is clear.  The nurses have you give your full name and date of birth to verify that this medicine is yours before they hook you up.  This was done for me. But as I was looking at the medicine in the bag, it was not clear.  It was a thick, red substance. Even though it had my full name on the bag, I kept getting the feeling this was not my medicine.  I knew the nurse well so I thought she would know I was to be receiving Solu-Medrol.  She kept chatting away to me and getting read to 'plug' me in.  I finally couldn't ignore the feeling that this wasn't what I was to be getting, so I asked her, "Did they change the color of Solu-Medrol?"  and laughed.  The nurse finally looked at the bag.  "Are you getting Solu-Medrol?  This is iron."  She rushed out of the room and re-read my orders.  I was to get Solu-Medrol and she had accidentally ordered iron since three other patients that hour were getting iron.  If I had not spoken up, I too, would have been getting iron.  That would have been a bad thing.

I now take a list when I go to doctors' offices with questions I have.  I am not afraid to speak up when I go places where my health is concerned.  I want to make sure I have the right care.  Here is a good website to check out to help with what you may need to know:  http://www.ahrq.gov/questions/beforeappt.htm

Keep following the links for 'during' and 'after' your appointment.  You can also print off a sheet for your questions so you can bring them with you.  Knowledge is power   and can help you so you don't forget anything when you leave there.  I always hate it when I remember something as I am driving out of the parking lot.  :)

Remember, communication is the key! Are there times when we don't speak up?  Or we speak up at bad times and offend others because of how we do it?  Do we lack tact?  Are we one of those people who are born leaders and have a natural knack for communication?  I highly recommend you read the book from this seminar if you fall into one of these categories. http://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second/dp/0071771328/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1328304737&sr=8-1

It just may save your life!

Things I use for Pain

Yesterday I spoke of pain.  I wanted you to think of how you deal with It.  Today, I will share how I deal with my forms of It.  (Other than the traditional methods)


It has taken me many years of trial and error.  I know that for some these things may not work and for others you may think these ways are a bunch of 'hooey,' but if you try them out, you may be surprised.

1. Chiropractics--I have been going every month (sometimes twice a month) for over 14 years. There was a time I thought I can't afford this so I am not going.  I regretted it and ended up heading back.  I have found one I trust with my life.  He is now a family friend.  His wife and I chat is up when we are there, and he is always asking about my kids.  He has seen me on my worst days.  His m-i-l had MS, so he knows all about my disease and what will help me.  I have gone in at times in my wheelchair and after a few weeks of adjustments, I am back to walking.
2. Acupuncture--I get this done at my chiro's office.  It is a spinal rehab center so specializes in a lot of pain management.  I have this done when I get migraines.  Not too often, but it sure does help.
3. Micro-current therapy--I do this when I go into for my monthly spinal adjustment.  I believe it is why I am walking today.  No doubt about it!   Again, tried for a few months without, went right back on it.  Noticed a huge difference. More balance, less pain, and overall well-being when I am consistent. http://web.me.com/serena1arm/Panacea_Wellness/Microcurrent.html
4. Nutrition-- No special diets. I have lost 50 pounds since being diagnosed in 1996 and have kept it off.  But the important thing to remember is MODERATION.  Don't go pigging out on everything all the time.  And don't be eating foods that are bad for you.  I eat things low in sodium, low in carbs, high in fiber and protein.  It helps with over all well-being and feeling good so that helps me deal with pain better.  And being 50 lbs lighter helps with walking and exercise.  And I don't beat myself up if I by chance have a day or two (or a week of vacation) where I eat really bad.  I just go back on the moderation diet.
5. Yoga--Yes, yoga.  I am not consistent with this although I try to be.  I have several videos I have at home I work on.  It helps with spasticity in my legs and with balance.  My cat loves to try to join me on this and hasn't figured out the she usually gets a good toss out of the room each time.  :)  Videos I love for my workouts--easy to hard:  http://www.mobilityltd.com/pathways.htm   ;   http://www.amazon.com/AM-PM-Yoga-Beginners-VHS/dp/094567189X/ref=sr_1_2?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1327340055&sr=1-2 (am portion with rodney yee.  PM portion too hard)  ; http://www.amazon.com/M-Yoga-Your-Week/dp/B000YV1L4E/ref=pd_sim_mov_3  (different am version)
6. Essential Oils--I was introduced to these by another s-i-l of mine who then had her brother (my outlaw--hahaha) show me the wonders of these.  I will be talking about the brand I use which is doTerra, but there are others out there.  http://www.doterra.com/us/essentialDefinition.php    I first tried AromaTouch® Massage Blend  to help with my neuropathy as my outlaw told me this was something to have been shown to help diabetic neuropathy.   I have since moved on to Frankincense, Peppermint,  Deep Blue® Soothing Blend   and others to help with my MS symptoms.  I have been able to go off of some of my synthetic medications completely, my pain is all but gone, and my neuropathy is under control.   I have even shared some of this pain-controlling stuff with my rose-growing friend.  She is excited to give it a try. (If any of you are interested, I can tell you about these.  There are all sorts of things, from calming scents to oils to freshen your house.  I love the lemon!  I add it to furniture polish to my water to frosting for cookies.)

 I hope that through my list  you may have found a way to help ease what troubles you.