Whirlwind

There are times in your live when you may feel you have been sucked up in a whirlwind and are being thrown around from side-to-side with no way out.  You can't seem to control your days and there seems to be no end to the chaos. Every night you crawl into bed, exhausted, dreading the dawn.  Your stress level is climbing and know, that if it doesn't stop soon, you are going to blow.

I've often thought of the character Tipo from the Disney movie "The Emperor's New Groove."  She wakes up from a nightmare and says, 'I had a dream that Dad was tied to a log and careening out of control down a raging river of death.'


I often feel I am careening out of control on a raging river of life--or in a whirlwind that sucks me up and spits me out tattered and torn somewhere down the river of life where I really didn't want to be.  As I've gotten older, and hopefully wiser, I've noticed some of the chaos in this whirlwind is my own doing.  And even though I don't mean to do it, it happens.  Let me explain.


I am caught up in a whirlwind at this moment and it's starting to pick up momentum.  I've noticed it gaining speed for sometime now and have been trying to stop it before it flings me far and does some serious damage.  In my case, an MS relapse that could set me back several weeks or months.  


It started back in November when I took a spill and gave myself a concussion.  Instead of taking it easy and recovery fully (heck, it was the holidays.  Who had time to recover?), I jumped back into life after about ten days and started with my agenda.


I went Christmas shopping.  I kept up with my photo restoration, which is fine since I was sitting down for this and wasn't over-exerting myself.  I started to stay up later to be with my husband and son.  Then, my daughter came home from college so I started to do more with her and stay up even later.  I love to play 'Words with Friends' since it helps keep the cognitive part of my brain going.  I had more friends adding me to their list so I was playing more. December turns into January, and the stress is building.


February came. I broke a tooth, and we have no dental insurance.  Rick's new job with the new insurance really pays for nothing. So the chaos is mounting.  I found out when I took my spill in November, I tore some ligaments in my knee.  Add more doctors appointments to the day. The ride down the river is starting to move rapidly.  This ride is filled with photo restoration, housework, blogging, genealogy, staying up late (I never did get to bed early after the holiday season), and 'Words with Friends.'  We take a trip to see my daughter at college and celebrate her 20th birthday.  I'm really feeling the whirlwind building speed now.

March comes in with spring-like weather.  I'm now getting involved with my garden stuff.  I'm offered to do Water Conservation at the county extension.  I've been wanting to do this for years!  Along with this, I do my normal helping with garden volunteering, pruning, & classes; added to all the above stuff from February.  


In the days before I had MS, the whirlwind would have been a small dirt devil at this point and I could have squashed it with taking a nap or two.  But with MS, I can't do this.  I know that something must give.  BUT, do I do give something up?  Noooooo.....


I have added Pinterest to this.  I like to see what others are interested in and want to add my interests.   Both my children's graduations are coming up in May--one from high school, one from college.  I'm also trying to get my yard cleaned up for spring (with help of course) and work on a plan for what to plant and grow for this year.  I have to keep in mind that whatever grows, I have to reap and can in the fall. I need to beware there, too.  I always get carried away with that and create a great massive whirlwind with harvest season.


So, how did I bring this on myself?  How did I go 'careening over this raging river of death?'  


Simple!  I did not say NO.   I did not chose the important stuff.  The most crucial part in this picture is ME.


Yes, it is time to be selfish here.  My health is the most critical thing here.  I need to eliminate several things to stop this whirlwind before it gets any worse. I know what I need to do in my life and plan on doing it.  In fact, I have already started the process.


Now, for you.  What are the things in your life that are causing dirt devils to becomes whirlwinds?  Are you on a raging river right now that is careening out of control?  What is being affected in your life?  


I challenge you to make a list of all the things you have done in the last three months (like I did) and see what things are really necessary for your well-being.  What things are getting in the way of the end-goal?  And take steps to eliminate them before you are being swept away and being slammed into chaos.