What-if's

The start of a new year always fills me with mixed emotions.  I look over the past year and see all that was done or could have been done and play the 'what if' game.  And then, I look toward the new year and do the same with what could be done or should be done in the months ahead.  And really, some things shouldn't be dredged up--like the whole key-lime cheesecake I ate for my Mother's Day celebration last year (although it really was VERY, VERY good).  I just don't want to relieve the beating up I gave myself when I read the label on fat & carb content for this decadent dessert.

Do you play the 'what-if' game?  How often do you play it?  I actually play it a lot, and it really gets me no where.  Sometimes, it makes me angry, and I start thinking, "What if he had only ...."    or  "What if she had done this?"  But most of the time it makes me depressed because I start thinking things related to my MS:  "What if I has started my Tysabri earlier?"  "What if I hadn't fallen over that chew toy?"  "What if I hadn't caught that cold?"

Do you see why those are silly games to play?  There are no answers to these questions.  It is like asking "What if the sun where to turn blue?"  So what if it were?  What would happen?  You would go on and live!  AND the sun would be blue!  What if I hadn't eaten that key-lime cheesecake?  I wouldn't have gained a few pounds (which I have promptly lost) and wouldn't have enjoyed it!

I was talking to my daughter, Jess, over this past holiday and she was tormenting herself over a past 'what-if.'  I tried to tell her she had done everything in her power to do what needed to be done and now it was time to let this 'what-if' move on.  The 'what-if' is what hasn't moved on.  So Jess, enjoy your cheesecake.   You can have chocolate, though.  :)

So as this year starts, what things are you going to torment yourself with?  Do these these things finally need to be set aside?  I have made it my goal to set aside one, JUST ONE, 'what-if' item. I am going  to work on eliminating it from my life.  I would like to be able to stop dwelling on it and having it creeping into my mind.  I want to be able to be able to enjoy the freedom that comes from no more 'what-if's' !